Rouge (#1 in the Cheveux Roux series) Page 14

  “He can’t have her!”

  “She has no family, no talent, no education. It’s probably the only way she’ll ever make money.”

  “She has me. I’m her family.” My voice was ragged. “And she doesn’t need to make money. She’s never cost you a cent.”

  “That’s not the point.” He found my hand and began loosening my fingers. “Guy holds the deed to this place. He gets what he wants.”

  My head was spinning, and all I could see was the green-eyed fox. For a moment I thought I might collapse, but I rallied, remembering Guy’s words. What he’d said here that night about watching me grow.

  “You’re lying. You didn’t let him have me.” I struggled with the memory, with what it meant. “He said he’d been watching me.”

  “I made a promise.”

  “He can have me now. I’ll take her place.” It was out so fast, there wasn’t time to reconsider. I looked down at my clenched fists.

  “No,” Gavin said. “You’re too important to the show. And I made a promise.”

  “I made a promise. I promised to protect her.”

  He shook his head. “I won’t agree to this.”

  “I won’t let him hurt her.”

  Gavin pressed his lips together in a tight line. We stood in a silent impasse, him in the doorway, me facing him down, fighting to pull air into my lungs.

  “I’ll try and hold him off a little longer,” he finally said. “Perhaps he’ll find another interest.”

  I didn’t speak as he turned to go. I couldn’t stop trembling. He stopped before closing the door again. “I hope you like your gift. It was your mother’s favorite.”

  Then he shut the door, and I was alone in the dim lamplight. After a few moments, I was sure he was gone, and I turned and slowly walked to the table, my whole body tense. I lifted the box he’d put there. Inside was a tiny bottle of what looked like perfume, and when I pulled the small stopper, my room filled with the scent of tea-roses and ocean air, the scent of my mother. I remembered her dark hair, the soft folds of her cotton gown, being a tiny girl and pulling these things around me for comfort, for protection. The closest thing I had to that now was Beau, but even he couldn’t undo my words.

  I closed my eyes and sat on my chair, pulling my knees to my chest. My body shook harder, and I hugged my legs tighter against my body as I rocked back and forth, contemplating what I’d just done.

  Chapter 13

  Like a giant wheel, our week began again with stale breakfast, never enough, rehearsals until we could perform in our sleep, costume adjustments, set repairs, and then back to bed to sleep until it all began again. My mind had gone numb since my conversation with Gavin and my promise. I wouldn’t go back on my word. I wouldn’t let Teeny be taken.

  It wasn’t clear if my vow meant I would have to move to Atlanta with Guy or if he would keep me here as his personal escort. I was sure he would find us if we tried to flee into the city, and any exchange attempt I’d made would be null and void at that point. Teeny would be his, and possibly me, too.

  No matter what future Beau imagined for us, there was nothing he could do in the face of Guy’s money and power. My only hope now was Freddie, but I feared even his salvation wouldn’t come in time for me.

  When Beau finally arrived, it was all I could do to keep from telling him the whole story, but I knew what that would mean. He’d try to rescue me, but Teeny would be left vulnerable. I wouldn’t let that happen.

  He found me in the wings, watching Fiona work with some of the dancers. One look and he swept me into his arms, behind the heavy, dark curtains and immediately into a long, searching kiss. I slid my fingers into his soft hair, echoing his movements with my own—tongues touching, warm breath whispering across my cheek.

  “I love you,” he said again right beside my ear, and despite my panic and fear, I clung to him, battling tears as he kissed my cheek and then my lips again. “I love being able to say that to you. And I was so disappointed last night, but maybe tonight?”

  Then he saw my expression. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

  It tore at my heart to let him go, but I steeled myself, knowing the promise I’d made. “We can’t be together. I have to stick to my plans with Freddie.”

  Confusion lined his brow, and I could see all the arguments forming behind his eyes. “Why are you saying this now? What happened last night with Gavin?”

  “It doesn’t matter. I made a promise, and I have to keep it.”

  “No, you don’t. Not if it means marrying a man you don’t love.”

  I nodded, swallowing the painful knot in my throat. “You’d be right if this was just about me, but it’s never been that way. I have other people to consider. I’m not the only one at stake here.”

  He caught my arms, gripping me hard at the elbows as I tried to move back. He looked directly into my eyes. “What’s this really about? Becoming like Evie?”

  “It’s more than that. It’s something I can’t change, and neither can you.”

  “Tell me what it is, and I’ll make that decision.”

  I glanced up at his blue eyes, and I thought of the irises he used to give me. I thought of that week we’d spent together, holding hands, dreaming of the future, and the pain surged back more fiercely than before.

  “I know you’d do what you could to help me. I know you would, but if I don’t keep my promise...”

  I shook my head. “There’s nothing we can do this time.”

  He looked at me, and I saw the understanding break across his face. “This is about Teeny.”

  “It’s my fault she’s here. That she’s in danger,” I said. “I begged Rosa to let me keep her, and now—”

  He cut me off. “She’s not a puppy, Hale.”

  “I never said she was.”

  “Yet you dedicate yourself to her as if…” he paused looking for the right word.

  “As if I were her mother?”

  He frowned and looked at me. “Yes.”

  “I knew you wouldn’t understand.” I turned and walked to the door leading to the backstage passage. My hand reached the handle just as his hands found my waist and arm. He pulled my back against his warm body, and my insides melted.

  “Wait,” he said. “Don’t go yet.”

  “It’s best if I do.”

  “But you love me.” He pressed his face into my hair. “That’s more important than any of this.”

  “No, it’s not. And I’m sorry I told you that. I shouldn’t have been so weak.”

  His grip relaxed at my words. He stepped back and crossed his arms, frowning. “So you’re determined to end it.”

  I paused at the door, pain wrenching my insides. I didn’t lift my head to look at him. I only nodded. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  He was starting to say something, but I was through the door before I could hear it, running to my shared room as fast as my legs would take me.

  * * *

  Teeny continued drawing even though Beau wasn’t around to teach her anymore. He’d kept his Sunday job despite my cancellation of our plans. I’d given up dreaming about a future for us together, but each afternoon a small token would appear on my dressing table. First it was a single blue iris. Then it was a tiny chocolate, next a little sketch of two hands, fingers entwined. By Thursday, I had a collection in the small basket beneath my dressing table, along with the box that held my mother’s perfume.

  Thursday night he behaved as if nothing had changed. He watched me climb from the top of the ladder with a smile on his face, and while we waited, he held my hand and caressed the top of it with his thumb. It was excruciating, but I was too overwhelmed to argue. I didn’t understand why he was behaving this way, deluding himself, and killing me.

  “Nothing’s changed,” I whispered in the moments before my song began.

  “You love me. I’m not letting you go.”

  Pain. “I’m marrying Freddie.”

  “Not yet,” he smiled.

  I
shook my head and turned away as my seat moved out, and I presented the same song of disillusionment to a new set of dazzled faces.

  Freddie was preoccupied after the show, but I was pure flirtatious charm, hoping my lavish affections would tease him into a fast proposal and short engagement.

  “I hope you’re not growing tired of the show,” I smiled, tracing my finger up his hand and slipping it under his cuff. “It always makes me happy to know you’re out there watching.”

  Freddie caught my hand and laced our fingers. My behavior at least emboldened him enough that now he didn’t ask for permission before kissing me. These days I put my whole heart into our kisses, opening my mouth quickly, ready to welcome any advances. But they didn’t come, and I still didn’t have a ring.

  “Darling, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news,” he said, releasing me. “But I hope it has a little good news tucked inside.”

  I frowned. “Bad news?”

  “I’ve got to go to Paris.”

  My heart slammed to the floor, and I didn’t have to pretend to be horrified. “What?”

  He clutched me to him, giving me another kiss. “I know,” he sighed, pressing his cheek to mine. “Normally I would be thrilled to be returning home, but now I don’t think I can bear the separation.”

  I was afraid I might lose it. No engagement, and now this?

  “For how long?” I asked.

  “A month, six weeks at the most. Father has a business matter he said I need to handle personally.” Then he smiled. “I’m afraid my revelation at lunch was a bit too impressive.”

  I couldn’t speak.

  “But the good news is there’s a divine little jewelry store just off the Champs-Élysées,” he continued. “I have the perfect ring in mind…”

  “A month,” I repeated. All I could think of was Guy’s return.

  “Will you forget me?”

  “Of course not.”

  He kissed my temple, and then reached for his pocket.

  “I brought you a little something just in case. To help you remember.”

  I opened the small box to find a golden locket. He opened the locket to reveal a tiny picture of himself inside. I stared at it, still unable to smile.

  “It’s charming,” I said.

  He chuckled and turned me around to fasten it at my neck. It was too long and slipped between my breasts. When he turned me back around, I didn’t lift it for him. I held my breath as he silently observed its new position. The air felt charged as I waited for his response, ready to welcome anything that might take us with him to Paris. But he only pulled the delicate chain, lifting the locket into his hand while preserving my décolletage.

  Our eyes met, and I sighed with frustration. “Oh, Freddie.”

  His face flushed, and he held my shoulders, kissing me deeply again. “It’s where I long to rest my head,” he whispered against my cheek. “Just above your heart.”

  “How can you leave me?” My almost-tears were real this time. It was unbearable that he could be so controlled.

  “It’s going to be excruciating. But I want you to hold this locket every night and know that I’m thinking of you. Until we’re together again.”

  I was numb as I nodded in agreement. “Goodbye,” I whispered, causing Freddie to clutch me again in a long embrace.

  “I have to admit. Your fatalism pleases me. But I’ll be back before you know it, darling. Sooner if at all possible. And in the meantime, I’ll just be working around the clock so as not to be constantly thinking of how miserable I am without you.”

  I nodded again, this time unable to reply or make eye contact. It was all over.

  “All right, then, well. One last kiss, and I must depart.” He squeezed my hands before pressing his lips to mine and giving me another long embrace. “I love you, ma petite cherie,” he said.

  At the last moment I looked up to watch him disappear through the exit, and a cold certainty washed down my spine. No more safety net. We were on our own.

  I returned to my dressing table as if in a trance. I put my hand around the golden locket and stared at it a few moments. Then by force of habit, I let it go and reached for the pot of cold cream to clean the greasepaint off my face. My hand faltered, and my glance flickered to the mirror. My eyes were the same hazel they’d always been, and my shiny hair was swept away and up in a style that sent my large, dark curls cascading down my back. But I looked different now. Haunted. Desperate.

  My thoughts swirled. I couldn’t give up. I had to fight this. Again I imagined leaving, running away. But where would we go? I had no money, no family. I could pawn these new gifts Freddie had given me—the diamond bracelet, the comb, this locket—but how long would that last?

  I thought of taking us to one of the riverboats. I could easily get a job in one of those productions. But what about Teeny? Would they let her stay with me if she had nothing to contribute? I wiped the cream from my face with a tissue as I tried to force my brain to find a solution. I pulled the pins out of my hair and started brushing, and my thoughts drifted to Beau. He kept saying he’d take care of us, but his job was in New Orleans. How could he get us out of the city?

  Just then the door opened and Teeny walked in and sat on the bed. She had an odd expression on her face. “Guy’s back,” she said, looking down.

  I dropped the brush, and it hit the dressing table with a loud crash. She jumped at the sound, but I was already at the door, slamming it closed and sliding the bolt.

  “Where is he?” I whispered. “Did you see him?”

  She continued looking down, and I noticed her hands twisting her dress. “He’s out there. He wanted to talk to me backstage. And I did.”

  “What did he say?” My heart was hammering against my ribs.

  She took a trembling breath. “He asked me to go with him to Atlanta.”

  I blinked as my eyes widened. “Atlanta?”

  “He said he missed me so much the last time, he wants me with him. Always.”

  I went to the bed and sat beside her. “Did he say why he wants you with him?”

  “To keep him company.” She picked up a little pillow, and I saw her hands shake. “He said I pleased him.”

  I caught her arms and turned her to face me. “But you’re afraid.”

  Her eyes met mine. “I’m not sure I trust him now.”

  “Why?”

  She blushed and looked down. I shook her arms. “What happened?”

  She cleared her throat as her cheeks grew a deeper pink, then she slid a copper lock back to reveal a blood-red mark on her neck.

  “Oh, god,” I gasped. “What’s that?”

  “He did it,” she whispered. “And he touched me.”

  A tremor raced through my body. “Where?”

  She looked down, wrapping an arm across her small chest as a tear slid down her nose. Fear was replaced by a rage I’d never felt before, and I clenched my teeth. I almost couldn’t breathe for the hatred coursing through me. I stood and began to pace our small room. I had made this deal, not her.

  “You’re not to go near him. Ever again.”

  “But how…”

  “If you see him, you run away. Run to me or to Evie. Or Beau.”

  I watched as more tears pooled in her eyes. “It’s too late, isn’t it?”

  “What?”

  “I heard Freddie say he’s leaving, and now it’s too late.”

  My own anxiety came rushing back then, and I went to the door, double-checking the bolt before turning to remove my costume. I swallowed the knot that never left the base of my throat. I was frightened, but there was something new and different in me now, too. A determination I didn’t know I possessed. We were not trapped, and I would find a way to save us. I draped the peacock-blue corset across the back of my chair and slid my hand under my pillow to remove my nightgown. I slipped it over my head and turned Teeny around.

  “Get ready for bed,” I ordered as I helped her with her laces. She remained in her chemise as
we slipped under the covers.

  As we’d done since her first night here, I pulled her back into my chest and smoothed her hair away from her face, trying to calm the tremors that kept passing through her body into mine. The moonlight was streaming through our tiny window when I began to speak.

  “Your mother was a gorgeous dancer,” I said in a low voice. Her body shook hard as I began the fairytale story of her family, the one I’d used to lull her to sleep since she was a little girl. They were the same words I’d spoken in the middle of the night when she’d awaken in the dark, frightened by a bad dream. The same words I summoned now to comfort her.

  I took a deep breath and continued. “And when she met your dad, she couldn’t help but love him. He played such beautiful music on the guitar.”

  My arm was tight around her waist, and I felt her trembling begin to subside, her fear dissipating because she trusted me. It was all she knew to do. My eyes grew damp, but I cleared my throat and continued.

  “He had no money to marry her, so he went away to find his fortune. But before he could return, she was married to another man. He came back anyway, and she went to him. And nine months later, you were born. But your beautiful mother had to return to her husband, so she left you with me until she could come back to collect you—”

  “It’s all a lie,” she suddenly cried out. “She’s never coming back, and something terrible’s going to happen to us.”

  “I won’t let anything terrible happen to you,” I said, my voice low and firm. “I told you that, and you have to believe me.”

  She didn’t answer, so I continued to my next story. “In a month, Freddie’ll be back, and I’ll quit the show.”

  “Did he propose?”

  “He will. And we’re moving to Paris, where we’ll live in a house on the Avenue Montaigne and have a carriage and furs—”

  “And a little dog,” she said, the smallest glint of hope returning. “And you’ll wear diamonds—”

  “And we’ll never think about this place,” I said, swallowing my fear. “Ever again.”